I don’t think I ever set out to be misunderstood but I find that I sometimes am. As hard as you try, people sometimes perceive you as doing wrong when you only ever intended to do good. Things you say get twisted or repeated outside of context and sometimes used against you.
Many factors come into play when people react differently to how you intended. There’s sense of humour, context, past interactions, respect, timing, content, audience.
So if you nail all of the above then the person’s reaction is predictable and in line with your expected response.
However, it’s hard to get all of these right. Lack of respect is a big trump card (and deal breaker) with all of this. If it’s not present, it’s not going to work and people will react unfairly to what you do and say.
My advice: don’t talk to people that don’t respect you. Your attempts to communicate effectively with them will always be crippled by the cynicism on their side.